InsaneJournal

angel

Let me tell you a bedtime story. Once upon a time there was a vampire. And he was the meanest vampire in all the land. All the other vampires were afraid of him, he was such a bastard. Then one day he's cursed—by gypsies. They restore his human soul. And all of a sudden he is mad with guilt. You know: 'What have I done'; You know, he's freaked—it's a fairly dull tale. It needs a little sex, is my feeling. So sure enough: enter the girl. Pretty little blonde thing, Vampire Slayer by trade. And our vampire falls madly in love with her. Eventually the two of them, well, they get fleshy with one another. Well, I guess the technical term is perfect happiness. But when our boy gets there, he goes bad again. He kills again. It's ugly. So when he gets his soul back for the second time, he figures hey, he can't be any where near miss young puppy eyes without endangering them both. So what does he do? He takes off. Goes to LA. To fight evil and atone for his crimes— —he's a shadow—a faceless champion of the hapless human race.

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Angel the vampire with a soul Angel Birthplace Galway, Ireland. Age Liam was born in 1727; he was sired in 1753, making Angel(us) 251 vampiric years old (as of the series finale, Not Fade Away, and not counting the time spent in the hell-dimension). Angel's apparent age is 26. Species Vampire (with a soul, occasionally without). . Location Los Angeles, California. City of Angels. Occupation Vigilante at large, Private Investigator, Champion for the PTB. Previously the Scourge of Europe and sadist extraordinaire. Known Relatives Unnamed father. Unnamed mother. Kathy (sister). Connor (son). Bloodline Darla (sire). The Master (grand sire). Drusilla (childe). Penn (childe). Sam Lawson (childe). Spike (grand childe). . Gender Decidedly male. Height/Weight 6'1" / 180 lbs Eyes/Hair Brown / Brown Distinguishing Marks Angel has a tattoo on his right shoulder blade of a griffin with the addition of the letter 'A' beneath it. The inspiration for it seems to be from the Book of Kells, where it is one of the four traditional winged figures representing the Evangelists. Angel, at first glance, is an unhappy, noble, selfish, asinine, tragic, well-meaning existentialist. Cursed with a soul, trying to fulfill his destiny with a direct line to The Powers That Be, every good intention fraught with despair and tragedy. After being turned, he killed his little sister, Kathy, who had unknowingly invited the demon in believing that he had come back to her an "angel". This was the source of his adopted name, "Angelus", the Latinate for "Angel". He is later described as "the demon with the face of an angel." Angel considers being normal, being just a man surrounded by people he loves, to be the brass ring - something he longs for, strives for, but ultimately considers himself unworthy of having because of who he is and what he has done. Overall, Angel does not fight to reap rewards, and he is not destined to receive any grace for his efforts. The character of Angel is an ideal within the "Cult of Kings", the battle weary leaders who fight so that others can enter the promised land. And, like King David, Angel will never build a temple, will likely not even live to see the fruits of his labors— —his dilemma, then, is the literal sort of "fighting one's demon", where the demon is a part of you and that takes control of your actions. This is the description borderline psychotics and alcoholics commonly make of that impulse that drives them to kill or to reach for another drink. Angel can divorce himself from past deeds done when his soul (conscience) was absent, but he chooses not to. His personality and memories - his psyche - were present at the time the deeds were done and so he refers to the actions performed when the human soul was absent as things "I did." This has become his compelling reason to give up living day to day as a tortured vampire and actively join the fight against evil. Contents 1 Early Life     1.1 Liam     1.2 Angelus     1.3 Scourge of Europe     1.4 Cursed 2 Sunnydale 3 Los Angeles 4 Character Flaws 5 Romantic Interests 6 Quirks     6.1 Beliefs     6.2 Ambitions     6.3 Greatest Fear 7 Character 8 Play List 9 Misc Early Life Liam Angel was born in 1727 to a moderately wealthy family in Galway, Ireland under the birth name Liam. His father was extremely strict, which led Liam to become a ne'er-do-well layabout out of rebellion. In 1753, at the age of 26, a heated dispute with his father caused Liam to renounce his family and leave home. It didn't take long for a mate-seeking vampire named Darla to discover Liam in an impressive drunken brawl at a pub. When she first approached him, he was on his way to steal silver from his father to spend on a woman. Liam found himself easily seduced by the entrancing Darla. Angelus With her bite, he was granted eternal life as a vampire and sired into the historied lineage of The Order Of Aurelius. The patriarch of this "family," the Master, is one of the most powerful vampires of the past millennium. The Master originally sired Darla when he discovered her in North America's Virginia Colony in 1608, dying from the syphilis she no doubt acquired through her profession as a prostitute. Liam's body was laid to rest by his family, and was resurrected the night after his funeral. Waiting patiently by the tombstone for her new mate was Darla. Liam's first kill came moments after clawing his way out of the earth, when he supped on the blood of a terrified graveyard caretaker. Wasting no time getting his bearings, Liam headed straight to his family's home, with Darla in tow. His next victim was his younger sister Kathy, who thought he had returned as an "angel." He then made short work of his parents, taking pleasure in their demise. But, as Darla was quick to point out, the memory of his father's disapproval would haunt him forever. The Prodigal. For the next several years Liam, now known as Angelus, "the one with the angelic face," maimed and murdered everyone he had ever known and cared for. With his lover Darla, he cut a swath of destruction through South Wales and Northern Ireland. In 1760, Darla decided it was time for Angelus to meet his grandsire, the Master. Upon entering the Master's lair beneath the streets of London, Angelus took an instant disliking to the intimidating vampire. Showing a dangerously cocky level of disrespect, Angelus insulted the Master and gave Darla the invitation to continue living with him in the open air, rather than dwelling with her sire in a dank subterranean fortress. For the second time in his life he renounced his "family," and was lucky enough to have the Master permit his freedom out of respect. The two lovers continued their violent conquest of Europe, tearing through Italy, but finally finding resistance in France. In 1765, a cunning vampire hunter named Holtz pursued them across the French countryside with a hostile mob as his army. When the weary vampires found their barn hideout surrounded, Darla stole their only horse and left Angelus to be slain. As an afterthought, she instructed him to meet her in Vienna someday if he made it past Holtz' militia. In Marseilles, 1767, Holtz tracks them down and manages to put numerous arrows in Angelus. Holtz lost them in northern Africa, only to track Angelus to Rome in 1771. Instead of killing him, Angelus and Darla realize that they have come to view him "like family" and make a sport of ruining his life. For the latter part of the 1700's, Angelus became even more brutal and twisted in his barbarous onslaught. He took to carving a Christian cross in the left cheek of his victims as a gruesome trademark of his attacks. It was during this period that he sired a man named Penn, who emulated his creator and turned up in modern day Los Angeles as "The Pope Killer." Scourge of Europe By 1860, Angelus had returned to England with Darla at his side once again. It was there that she introduced Angelus to Drusilla, an innocent young woman who was gifted with the ability to see the future. Angelus decided to make Drusilla his special toy and began to ruthlessly dismantle her sanity. He posed as a priest and told the naïve young lass that her visions were the work of Satan, from whom she was spawned, and there was no hope for her soul but to give in to evil and fulfill the Lord's prophecy. He then went to her home and slaughtered her entire family in front of her. Drusilla was able to escape to a convent on the countryside where she would attempt to become a nun to help cleanse her soul of the horrors she had experienced. But Angelus caught up to her and, on the day she was to take the veil, he descended upon the convent and massacred every last nun. Afterwards, he made love to Darla in front of the quivering, now-insane Drusilla and then sired his conquest into vampiredom. The three savage vamps traveled to Budapest, among other regions, and in 1880 found themselves back in England butchering mortals in the streets of London. By this time, Drusilla began to thirst for the intimate companionship that Darla and Angelus had and so decided to find a man to share eternity with. Her quest ended quickly when she spotted a skinny, insecure poet named William. Drusilla sired the easily-seduced outcast, and he was resurrected as the vampire known today as Spike. After becoming well acquainted with each other, Angelus, Darla, Drusilla and Spike set up camp in Yorkshire, where they hunted as a disciplined pack. Although they were experiencing blood-drenched prosperity under the leadership of Angelus, Spike's brazen attempt at gaining notoriety drew too much attention to the crafty predators, and they were forced to move on. By 1898, Angelus, Darla, Spike and Drusilla had brought their whirlwind of slaughter to Borsa, Romania. It was on a fateful night during that year that Darla gave Angelus a young Gypsy girl to kill for his birthday. The girl turned out to be the favorite daughter of a Romany tribe called the Kalderash clan. The enraged tribe elders put a vengeance curse on Angelus, which restored his soul and forced him to live in anguish over the acts he had committed as a vampire. "You don't remember. Everything you've done. For a hundred years . . In a moment you will. The face of everyone you have killed—our daughter's face—they will haunt you and you will know what true suffering is." (Gypsy Man to Angel; Becoming Pt I) Darla, Drusilla and Spike attacked the Gypsy camp and slaughtered the entire tribe to avenge their fallen leader, but the damage had already been done. Upon regaining his humanity, Angelus deserted his comrades and attempted to redefine himself. "Funny. You would think with all the people I've maimed and killed I wouldn't be able to remember every single one." (Angel; Five by Five) Cursed Although Angelus' thirst for butchery had been extinguished, his love for Darla had not. In 1900, he tracked her down in China, where she was feeding on townspeople with Spike and Drusilla during the Boxer Rebellion. In an attempt to win her back, Angelus hid the fact that he could no longer kill the innocent and faked his bloodlust to appease his lover. On the night that Spike killed a masterful Slayer in an abandoned temple, the reunited pack decided to leave China to seek victims in other parts of the world. Becoming Pt II. It didn't take long for Darla to expose Angelus' façade. She could tell that he had been killing vermin to satisfy his necessity for blood, and she realized that the few humans he killed in front of her were miscreants like murderers and rapists. Darla finally tested Angelus by bringing him a human baby, the personification of innocence and virtue. As Darla waited for her lover to feed on the infant, Angelus scooped up the child, jumped through the window, and left her for good. During the 1910's, Angelus moved to America and changed his name to Angel in an attempt to further remove himself from his past. While repenting for the acts he had committed as a vampire, he developed an aversion towards other vampires and lived like a transient, feeding on rats for nourishment. In the 1920's, Angel was living in Juarez when a barbaric demon named Boone took offense to the brooding outcast. The two warriors engaged in a brutal fight over a girl that lasted three and a half hours and ended without a victor. Boone was left with a bitter grudge against Angel that would not be settled until more than 75 years later. By 1952, Angel had taken residence at the Hyperion Hotel in Los Angeles. The human inhabitants were intimidated by his fierce demeanor and avoided him at all costs. During his stay, a Thesulac demon, which feeds on paranoia, turned the hotel residents into a bloodthirsty mob. The horde turned its wrath on Angel and was able to overpower the vampire and hang him from a rafter. Angel, still very much alive, waited for the mob to lose interest and wander off before he climbed down. He indignantly left the Hyperion and its inhabitants at the mercy of the Thesulac demon. Angel later left Los Angeles and aimlessly roamed across America until, consumed by self-pity, he hit rock bottom and began living in an alleyway in New York. But in 1996 his life was changed when he met a street-wise demon named Whistler. The Powers That Be, a force for good and order in the universe, sent Whistler to guide Angel on a path to redemption. The slick-tongued demon convinced Angel to help a Vampire Slayer named Buffy fight the forces of evil in California. top Sunnydale Angel first laid eyes on Buffy in Los Angeles and followed her to Sunnydale when she and her mother moved. In 1997, he began to help the slayer by delivering cryptic advice about demonic activity. One night, when Buffy was attacked by vampires outside of the Bronze, the local hangout, Angel saved her and Buffy invited him over to sleep in her room. The two began to sense a mutual attraction and when Buffy returned home from school the next day they shared a passionate kiss. But before they could revel in the afterglow, Angel's vampire face came out and he dejectedly ran away. As both Buffy and Angel began to consider the consequences of their ironic attraction, Darla showed up in Sunnydale with the goal of winning her "Darling Boy" back. The cunning Darla made it look like Angel had attacked Buffy's mother, which quickly pit the slayer against her soulmate. Angel wasn't able to convince Buffy of the truth until he destroyed his past by slaying Darla at the Bronze. Although Buffy could accept the fact that Angel was no longer evil, the two of them decided that their poetic relationship could never work. As they kissed one last time, the cross Buffy wore around her neck burned an imprint onto Angel's chest, leaving a permanent memento of their love. Although the forces of good and evil separated Buffy and Angel, fate brought them back together time and again. Following secret Gypsy orders, however, to separate Angel from the Slayer, Jenny Calendar encourages Angel to leave Sunnydale when it becomes clear that Spike and Drusilla are attempting to reassemble the Judge—he must take the Judge's arm by cargo ship to the remotest region possible, then suggesting that he might trek to Nepal. While Angel gives Buffy a Claddagh ring for her seventeenth birthday during their tearful parting at the dock, Spike's vamp minions manage to steal the arm back, preventing not only Angel's departure but their bid to keep the Judge from becoming functional. Later at the library, Buffy has another informative dream and takes Angel to investigate the factory where Spike and Dru have their lair. They narrowly escape the now fully assembled and activated Judge, then return to Angel's apartment exhausted and rain drenched. Still suffering from the successive threats of losing one another, Angel and Buffy confess feelings each has been trying to suppress. They make love for the first time and fall asleep in each other's arms. What they didn't know was that the Romany curse was predicated on Angel remaining tortured, and upon experiencing a moment of true happiness, the curse was lifted and his soul removed once again. Without the compassion and conscience instilled by his humanity, Angel instantly reverts to his former evil self, Angelus - lurking in the shadows, preying on Buffy's classmates, sending her gruesome messages, even drawing pictures of her and her mother as they sleep and leaving them in her bedroom. Resenting the humiliation he felt because Buffy had made Angel feel like a human being, Angelus takes immense pleasure in tormenting the Slayer and her friends. Though still ostracized, Jenny Calendar gives Giles a spell book containing a ritual to revoke Angel's many invitations into their homes, then continues secretly to work on a special project—a computer translation of the ancient Gypsy Ritual of Restoration, the spell which originally gave Angelus his soul back a century prior. She succeeds, but Drusilla foresees Jenny's efforts and Angelus happily comes to destroy all her work, claiming "déjà vu just isn't what it used to be". He snaps Jenny's neck and uses his handiwork to viciously torment Giles. Innocence. For months Angelus avoids killing Buffy in favor of stalking her much to the chagrin of Spike (who also isn't too fond of Angelus doing whatever and whoever he pleases). It becomes painfully obvious that Angel's selfless love for the Slayer has greatly influenced Angelus' twisted obsession for the blonde. Lead blindly by his inability to kill Buffy, Angelus decides to try and suck the entire world into hell - one of them, anyway - once Dru reveals to him that a local museum has recently uncovered a demonic statue. Angelus gladly tells Spike the story of Acathla, a demon that came to suck the world into Hell. A virtuous knight stabbed him in the heart before he could draw a breath, but someone worthy can remove the sword to awaken Acathla. Angelus wants to be that someone - wants to make history end. And Buffy along with it. Angelus is forced to take Giles hostage and announces his intention to torture him for information concerning the ritual to awaken Acathla, as well as for the fun of it. Mostly for the fun of it. Giles, under the hypnotic influence of Drusilla, eventually reveals that Angelus' blood will awaken Acathla. After initiating the awakening and opening a portal to hell, Willow was able to re-cast the Romany spell and return Angel's soul to him for the second time. But fate again made a radical turn and, moments after he regained his soul, Buffy was forced to impale a disoriented and confused Angel to seal the gateway to hell he'd opened. A few months later, Angel was unexpectedly released from Acathla's hell after several hundred years of suffering and torture, reappearing in the Crawford street mansion in a feral state. Buffy aided him in secret, fostering his rehabilitation until Xander learned of his return and alerted the Scooby Gang. Though wary at first, Angel did retrieve the Glove of Myneghon and save Willow's life. Once he regained his senses, Angel began to suspect that his return from Hell was not accidental - that he must be meant to serve some unknown purpose. That fear - that this purpose was not for the cause of good - grew in Angel's mind as he began to experience what he believed to be hallucinations. However, he was actually being haunted by the First Evil. The First, able to adopt the appearances of Angelus' victims, drove Angel ever closer to the brink of madness by lashing him with guilt and, ultimately, tempting him to end it all by losing his soul once again and killing Buffy in the throes of passion. In despair, Angel decided to kill himself rather than risk his beloved Slayer. To Angel's shock and consternation, it snowed that Christmas morning as he waited under the open sky for the sun to rise despite Buffy's tearful protest. From that moment, he began to entertain the hope that his return might have some purpose for good after all. In time, he was able to recover his sanity, but his psyche would never fully heal. He knew that as long as he remained a vampire, his relationship with Buffy would never work, so Angel at last made the difficult decision to leave Sunnydale and to leave Buffy. He promised Buffy he would stay until Sunnydale High's Graduation Day, to help avert the Mayor's Ascension. He also warned her that, if they survived the ordeal, he would leave without saying goodbye. They survived, and Angel, with a last, long look at the Slayer, kept his final promise. top Los Angeles Upon arrival in the "City of Angels," a half-human half-demon named Doyle approached Angel and convinced him to help people through his visions. Doyle, like Whistler, received images of people in peril from The Powers That Be and would then employ Angel to rescue them. It didn't take long for Angel to run into Cordelia, who was struggling to make a living as an actress. Along with Doyle, Angel and Cordelia formed Angel Investigations in 1999 as an outlet for supernatural P.I. work and the rescue of the innocent. City of. When Angel dusted a rich and powerful vampire named Russell Winters, Angel Investigations made its first contact with what would become its most powerful nemesis. Russell Winters was a client of a law firm called Wolfram & Hart that catered to the demon community, and they immediately recognized Angel as a considerable threat to their depraved organization. Their long list of crimes against humanity included pimping vampires, organizing demon fight clubs and harvesting humans for body parts. Although Wolfram & Hart kept Angel busy, his past love still haunted him. Angel would never fully recover from losing Buffy, but he did eventually find himself smitten by another heroic blonde. While hunting a Talamere demon, Angel crossed paths with a skilled and beautiful LAPD detective named Kate Lockley. Although Angel might have tried to pursue her romantically, the strong-willed detective was not able to give in to her feelings and fully accept Angel being a vampire. Shortly after Kate entered Angel's life, another person was taken from it. During a daring rescue, Doyle heroically sacrificed himself to save Angel, Cordelia and a whole clan of half-demons. Before leaping to his death, Doyle kissed Cordelia and thereby passed on his connection to The Powers That Be. As Cordelia began to adapt to her new role as the Seer, an old ally from Sunnydale named Wesley showed up on their doorstep. Wesley was Faith's ex-Watcher and had since become a rogue demon-hunter in search of a team. With his extensive knowledge of demon lore and a bold ambition for battle, Wesley became a key addition to Angel Investigations. As Angel entered his fourth century, Angel Investigations had developed into a well-oiled demon-slaying machine. To further broaden their scope, they found a new accomplice when Angel saved the sister of a young independent demon-hunter named Charles Gunn. Although his methods were unorthodox, Gunn was a battle-hardened veteran and became an essential ally to Angel Investigations. It turned out Angel would need all the help he could get when Wolfram & Hart summoned a demon named Vocah, who stole the Scroll of Aberjian and performed a ritual that resurrected Darla. Angel's sire and first true love was returned as a mortal rather than a vampire, and with her return dormant feelings within Angel were awakened. Rather than attempting to kill Darla once again, Angel tried to return her to good and help her find salvation for her deviant past. He turned out to be unsuccessful, and she was re-sired by Drusilla when Wolfram & Hart reunited the two ex-cronies. Angel felt such deep anguish at his inability to save Darla, and such intense fury at Wolfram & Hart for their machinations, that he fired his crew and embarked on a bitter, ruthless vendetta against both the law firm and the newly reunited Darla and Drusilla. In a dark moment, Angel refuses to prevent the slaughter of a very large group of Wolfram & Hart employees at the fangs of his own, Drus and Darla. In spiritual agony beyond even his endurance, Angel attempts to shed his soul by having sex with Darla, but instead of happiness, finds despair. A moment of clarity follows the desperate act, and Angel realizes that his purpose is still to do all the good he can, even if he can't do all the good he wants. As these dark forces were stacking up against Angel, he found yet another ally in the form of a flashy karaoke bar owner. Lorne is the anagogic green-skinned demon who runs The Caritas, which is a safe haven for demons. His ability to tell the future has helped Angel out of more than a few jams, and he soon became an integral part of the crew. Lorne accompanied the gang on a mission to save Cordelia in Pylea, his home-world in another dimension. Perhaps their most harrowing adventure to date, the gang not only rescued Cordelia and saved a kingdom, but also located a student physicist named Winifred who had been trapped there for five years. Angel and "Fred" connected instantly and she returned to Los Angeles with him to try to rebuild her life. Upon returning to LA, Angel learns from Willow that Buffy is dead. He takes a sabbatical and ends up in a demon-infested monastery in Sri Lanka, eventually coming to terms with Buffy's passing. Despite the Slayer's miraculous resurrection a few months later, Angel finds that his previously platonic love for Cordelia has grown to be something - more. Before he has a chance to confess his feelings, however, Darla returns, pregnant with his son, to be named Connor. False prophecies, time travelers and betrayal lead to Angel losing his infant son to an old enemy, Daniel Holtz, who abducts Connor soon after his birth, taking him to the hell dimension Quor'toth where time passes differently. When Connor returns days later, he is a young man who has been raised by Holtz to believe that Angel is still a soulless monster. Holtz takes his own life in such a way that Connor is led to believe he was killed by Angel, and vows to make Angel pay for the suffering he had caused. That same night, Connor sinks his father to the bottom of the ocean in a steel coffin and Cordy ascends to a higher plane, the feelings shared between them still left unspoken. Rescued by Wesley from his watery prison three months later, Angel's relationship with Connor is strained. It is complicated further by the return of an amnesiac Cordelia, who prefers to stay with Connor because he told her the truth while the others lied to her (albeit because they thought it was for her own good). When a very powerful demon known only as the Beast arrives and begins an attempt to bring forth an apocalypse, Angel's worst fears are realized when he has to strip himself of his soul and revert to his evil alter ego in order to defeat it. After his soul is restored, Angel figures out that the enemy he has been battling is a little closer to home than the group had previously considered, realizing that whatever the Beast's "boss" is, it is using Cordelia's body to carry out its plans. After battling and defeating the divine being known as Jasmine, Angel is offered the L.A. branch of Wolfram & Hart on the grounds that he ended world peace. Angel acts against all of his instincts and makes a deal - executive decision - with his sworn enemy, in exchange for Wolfram & Hart erasing Connor’s memories and giving him a normal life. Angel's year spent running the demonic law firm is one marred with challenge and self-doubt. Trying to battle evil from within the belly of the beast proves to be more difficult than even he imagined, with the lines of good and evil becoming ever more gray with every action taken - at one point Buffy sends a team of Slayers to accompany Andrew in retrieving Dana because they feel they can no longer trust Angel. Although Angel has suffered unspeakably in his past and lost lovers that most would never find in a lifetime, he can look to the future with optimism. The vampire with a soul has friends who have become family, and he has learned that The Powers That Be have prophesized his full return to mortality once he has saved enough innocent life. The Gates of Hell are in constant danger of being opened, but humanity at least has a fighting chance with Angel as its guardian. top Character Flaws The soul gives Angel an industrial strength guilt complex, a hundred years worth of self-hatred and loathing - but it doesn't give him the desire to become a hero (which he does not because of himself, but despite himself), and for all his desperate desire to do good deeds, to be forgiven, is not only an unlikely hero, but a pretty reluctant one. When you get right down to it Angel is vain, autocratic, and can be phenomenally petty all things considered, making decisions for others based solely on what he thinks is best (i.e. leaving Sunnydale for Buffy's well being, erasing memories of Connor without consent). First and foremost, he was never really a terribly nice guy to begin with (a would-be aristocrat, an alcoholic, a misogynist), and would have likely died of syphilis had he not been turned into a vampire. Angel is perfectly aware of his own importance in the grand scheme of things - after all, the nameless Powers of both good and evil are constantly fighting to have him on their side - and it would be easy to label him as shamelessly narcissistic. Angel has never been shown to hesitate when sacrifices need to be made; he will take on insurmountable odds for a good cause, and he will give up everything in order to save those he loves, or the world at large. But Angel has a great deal of difficulty accepting the consequences for those kinds of choices. He is, as aforementioned, a perfect martyr, willing to suffer for his sins and the sins of mankind. Always inherent in Angel’s promise to avenge the dead, is the implicit statement that he is willing, and even eager, to die trying. For all his self-sacrifice he still enjoys expensive clothes, classic cars and pricey establishments. He refers to Angelus as "I", because he feels personal responsibility for the atrocities he committed while soulless - but a part of him, no matter how small, even misses the conscienceless freedom he experienced. Angel, not his demon, is more often than not, his own worst enemy. ". . there is no guilt, there is no torment, no consequences. It's pure. I remember what that was like. Sometimes I miss that clarity." (Angel; Blind Date) Angel's internal struggle often manifests as a self-centered, arrogant streak. He has a conscience, yes, and emotions, but he still has a demon inside of him. His liability to lose faith in himself (and humanity as a whole) has happened on more than one occasion and in more than one way. Angel places great importance on the ability of his friends to control him, should the need arise. In fact, he chooses his friends based on their promise to not trust him, and despite the soul, he often finds violence attractive, and will resort to it even with those he loves. "I want to take comfort in you, and I know it'll cost me my soul, and a part of me doesn't care. Look, I'm weak. I've never been anything else. It's not the demon in me that needs killing, Buffy. It's the man." (Angel; Amends) Angelus, on the other hand, has a weakness in that he is/was prone to excessive talking. Spike once observes to Angelus, "you bloody well talk them to death before you kill them!" He is the ultimate evil, with 'not a drop of humanity' left inside of him. The Watchers' Council catalogues his viciousness as mythic, unparalleled in vampire history, and although his body count was vast, his worst weapon was arguably his boundless cruelty and sexually twisted gratification of psychological intimidation. He is susceptible to brutal displays of what he would see as affection, such as nailing a puppy to a tree. Another example of his grisly acts of love was when he brought Drusilla a still-warm human heart on Valentine's Day. He has also always had an obsession with elevating death to an art form; a truly satisfying kill must be perfectly framed and appreciated. That is what makes Angelus different than others. They killed to feed, but he took more kinds of pleasure in it than any creature that walked or crawled. "The thing I remember most was thinking how artful it was. In the dark, they looked just like they were sleeping. It wasn't until I bent down and kissed them good night that I felt how cold they were. You grabbed me, and I thought, who would go to so much trouble to arrange them like that?" (One of Angelus' victims; Amends) "I couldn't take my eyes off them. I was only in it for the evil. It was everything to me. It was art. The destruction of a human being." (Angel; Damage) top Romantic Interests The most unremitting paradox for Angel remains intimacy. Angel needs human contact, human love, in order to avoid giving in to the monster inside of him. But for Angel, the thing that saves him is also the very thing that can damn him - one pure moment of feeling loved and forgiven can also lead to the loss of his soul. The primary romantic relationships that span Angel's various incarnations are his sire Darla, and Buffy - both are petite, blonde women who can kick his ass. Clearly, Angel has a type. When Angel sees Buffy for the first time, he realizes that he wants to be someone and his faith in humanity is galvanized - their relationship is later summed up as: Buffy Summers is, was, and will always be Angel's soulmate. She knows it, and he knows it. Darla later brutally accuses Angel of finding not love with Buffy, but simply something new that resembled what they once had. "Look, Buffy is always going to be a part of me, and that's never going to change. But she's human and I'm . . not. And that's also never going to change. We said our good-byes, no need to stir any of this up again." (Angel; I Will Remember You) Angel also admits to obsessing over Drusilla - soul or not. While not necessarily romantic, his relationship with his childe transcends mere infatuation at times, his "masterpiece" was her torture and turning; the remorse and self-disgust Angel feels whenever he sees her usually precludes any physical attraction. In all incarnations, he is a creature easily distracted by the wrong head (i.e. Cordelia, Kate, Nina, Eve, Faith, etc). Angel is otherwise heterosexual, although Spike mentions in the episode, Power Play, that "Angel and me have never been intimate. Except that one—" The Kalderash gypsies cursed him by restoring his human soul, thus afflicting him with a conscience and condemning him to an eternity of remorse for the crimes he committed. If Angel experiences one true moment of bliss, of perfect happiness, the curse that was placed upon him is lifted and he loses his soul. Buffy has and probably will remain, wholly and unconditionally, Angel's greatest source of emotional misery. Sometimes it destroys him, sometimes it saves him, and sometimes, it does both. This curse defines Angel's every relationship in some significant way. Angel romanticizes normalcy and humanity. top

Quirks Partial to aspects of Spike's poetry, caffeine makes him jittery, uses, according to Spike, "nancy-boy" hair gel, is a very poor singer and a Fanilow - particularly fond of the song "Mandy". As he quotes, "I think it's kinda pretty." Angel is also a fan of ice hockey (as shown in Life of the Party) and he initially hoped Connor would grow up playing the sport; one of the reasons being that most of the games were played indoors, and at night - allowing for vampires to spectate. Beliefs Angel believes that everyone deserves a chance at redemption, and that "we can't just arbitrarily decide whose soul is worth saving and whose isn't." He has to believe that people can truly change for the better in order to hope that even he has an honest chance at being absolved of his sins and ultimately forgiven. "If there is no great glorious end to all this, if nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do. because that's all there is. What we do, now, today. I fought for so long. For redemption, for a reward - finally just to beat the other guy, but . . I never got it. Not all of it. All I wanna do is help. I wanna help because I don't think people should suffer as they do. Because if there is no bigger meaning, then the smallest act of kindness - is the greatest thing in the world." (Angel; Epiphany) Ambitions Helping the helpless (or the hopeless and, well, you know, people in general), redeeming himself for his macabre past as Angelus and keeping his sanity on an even keel. This desperate longing for family and normalcy is given name and tangibility later on in the first season, with the discovery of the Shanshu prophecy, and the foretelling that the vampire with a soul, should he survive the coming battles, will one day become human. But, like everything else in Angel's life, this promise is both a reward and a curse. In To Shanshu on LA, Wesley states: Shanshu has roots in so many different languages. The most ancient source is the Proto-Bantu and they consider life and death the same thing, part of a cycle, only a thing that's not alive never dies. It's - it's saying that you get to live until you die. It's saying - it's saying you become human. Ah, the vampire with a soul, once he fulfills his destiny, will Shanshu. Become human. It's his reward. Although Spike was given a soul as well, the Shanshu Prophecy has always given Angel hope - a light at the end of the tunnel - and given him reason to stay the path. And even though he signs the original prophecy away in Not Fade Away, the idea itself that he could be forgiven gives him a reason to continue fighting. Greatest Fear Losing his humanity. Losing Buffy. Giving up, giving in. Angel can be easily led astray and he often doubts his intentions given his past. He knows his control can be a thing of extreme delicacy under the proper manipulation. Angel: "You're not gonna win." Holland: "Well - no. Of course we aren't. We have no intention of doing anything so prosaic as 'winning.'" Angel: "Then why?" Holland: "Hmm? I'm sorry? Why what?" Angel: "Why fight?" Holland: "That's really the question you should be asking yourself, isn't it? See, for us, there is no fight. Which is why winning doesn't enter into it. We go on no matter what. Our firm has always been here. In one form or another. The Inquisition. The Khmer Rouge. We were there when the very first cave man clubbed his neighbor. See, we're in the hearts and minds of every single living being. And that - friend - is what's making things so difficult for you. See, the world doesn't work in spite of evil, Angel. It works with us. It works because of us." (Reprise) Also, the relationship between Angel and Angelus has been depicted in several ways. Both personas are shown vying for control inside Angel's mind in the episode Orpheus. In Season Four, Jasmine threatens Angelus by telling him that she will lock him away inside Angel forever, where he will be endlessly watching, unable to escape his prison. Angel: "It wasn't haunting me. It was showing me." Buffy: "Showing you?" Angel: "What I am." Buffy: "Were." Angel: "And ever shall be. I wanted to know why I was back. Now I do." Buffy: "You don't know. Some great evil takes credit for bringing you back and you buy it? You just give up?" Angel: "I can't do it again, Buffy. I can't become a killer." (Amends) top Character Angel is a masochist and the perfect martyr, one who truly believes that the path to peace and redemption is through physical and emotional suffering. He is his own worst critic. Worst of all, though, he is constantly reminded of the pleasure in which he killed, perpetuating the fact that for all his redeeming qualities: he can walk like a man, but he really isn't one. It's a deceptively simple formula: Angel tries. Angel fucks everything up. Angel tries again. He has to bite his tongue to avoid cruelty, has to keep himself surrounded by people who give him a reason to go on fighting, or simply not to give in. Despite the fact that Angel remains drawn to darkness, he carries with him a deep sense of shame around who and what he is. Atonement is a cruel bitch. He apparently has "very nice handwriting", is a skilled artist (particularly sketch work with charcoal crayon and China Ink), and is capable of cooking (although to what extent isn't really known). Angel is fluent in a variety of languages including English, Korean, Tibetan, Greek, Latin, Italian, Spanish, French, Russian, Romanian, German, and in Harm's Way tries to learn the language of the Vinji and Sahrvin demons via an instruction tape. Because of his age, Angel has immense knowledge of both demonology and history (on occasion rivaling that of Giles and Wesley), and has some experience in witchcraft and sorcery, though his natural aptitude for it is only average. As Angelus, he displays considerable skill in manipulating others' emotional states and has driven his victims insane, as seen with Drusilla. Besides the common powers and weaknesses of vampires, he also possesses strength, speed, stamina and resistance superior to those of most other vampires. Psychic link with his sired progeny renders him capable of experiencing their deeds during dreams and the capability to sense their presence. With or without a soul, he has shown a strong affinity for torture and a particularly brutal talent for sadism. Angel also possesses a photographic memory. top Play List ♪ ANGEL | MASSIVE ATTACK: ❝ you are my angel. come from the above, to bring me life. ❝ ♪ THE NOOSE | A PERFECT CIRCLE: ❝ so glad to see you well. overcome them, completely silent now. with heaven's help, you've cast your demons out. and not to pull your halo down. around your neck and tug you off your cloud, but I'm more than just a little curious. how you're planning to go about making your amends, to the dead, to the dead. ❝ ♪ THESE ARE THE DAYS | THE EXIES: ❝ the more I learn, the less I know, the final act of letting go. of everything that life takes, the reason why my heart breaks. suddenly there's comfort in the way the world comes crashing in, and every tear reminds me I'm alive. ❝ ♪ LOS ANGELES | SUGARCULT: ❝ one more holiday I will not celebrate. I'm almost desperate cause I'm down, I'm down, I'm so beat down. this city's killing me, i want, i want, i want everything. this city's killing me, in the heat of los angeles. ❝ ♪ HERE | VAST: ❝ where do i put the shame? it feels like a broken toy. i can't play with anymore. where do i put the hate? to a pixilated screen. i can't watch anymore. all i know is that i'm here drifting, somewhere in the vast, somewhere in eternity. ❝ ♪ I'M DYING | VAST: ❝ not one days goes by that I don't compromise. your love for the cold love of the world, it's killing me through my own evil pride. ❝ ♪ SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL | THE ROLLING STONES: ❝ please allow me to introduce myself: I'm a man of wealth and taste. i've been around for a long, long year; stole many man's soul and faith. i was 'round when Jesus Christ had his moment of doubt and pain. made damn sure that pilate washed his hands and sealed his fate. pleased to meet you - hope you guess my name. but what's puzzling you is the nature of my game. ❝ top Misc Contact: | provided upon request. I'll get around to putting up ships and other OOC info later. top